There’s a painting I love by Yoichi Nishino, an animal scene, churning green water crammed with crocodiles, a black sky above them, a sliver of crescent moon, and somehow, improbably, leaping over all of it, a rabbit. The crocodiles with their ravening jaws look so comfortable there in the water. Studying the rabbit’s trajectory tonight, I can’t figure out how she’s going to make it over all of those open mouths to the other side, to safety.
She’s not, I think, is the answer. She’s not. There is no other side. There’s only the boiling ocean, and the jaws.
—from “Rabbit Facts”
Something very important to me was just published in marrow magazine.
You may have read “Bat Facts,” my lyric essay/prose poem/weird-creative-nonfiction thing on gender and danger (and, yes, bats) from 2022. In many ways, “Rabbit Facts” is a sequel: it pulls some of the same thematic threads, and similarly incorporates science and nature writing. Like “Bat Facts,” this piece takes a strange shape. But “Rabbit Facts” also stands entirely on its own.
This piece is the most important (to me) thing I’ve ever written, as well as the most difficult, both emotionally and artistically. It took years to write, and a long time after that to find the right place to publish it. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long, long time.
A warning to my loved ones and readers with trauma: this piece may be difficult to read. While there are no graphic descriptions of violence or violation, I do discuss sexual assault and abuse by a family member. If you have specific concerns and/or want more information before proceeding, please let me know.
When you’re ready, “Rabbit Facts” is here.
tenderness toward existence days
This is the part of the newsletter where I typically share a list of wacky, obscure holidays. I’m an ardent believer in silliness, especially in difficult times. Today, though, I am quieted, both with gratitude for being able to share this moment with you and by the nature of the story I have to tell.
The parade of ridiculous observances will resume with the next small magic. For today, I suggest checking in with the wild creature inside of you.
What does your inner animal want? What do they need?
(Is it water? Warmth? Stillness? Play? Is it silence? Movement? Noise?)
What would make them feel safer, freer, more alive?
Do that, please.
acknowledgments
I could never have written “Rabbit Facts” alone. Thank you to everyone who held my hand and spoke their mind throughout the writing process: to Arielle, Elinor, Jane, and Neil; to Tye; and to Ronan, my therapist. I am a stronger writer and a braver creature because of you.
And to you, reading this, whoever you are:
Thank you for staying alive with me. Today, more than ever before, I am so, so glad you’re here.
brave and beautiful
Kate - you are an amazing human : ) Thanks for sharing such a deeply moving piece of writing. Metabolizing traumatic personal experience with Rabbit wisdom and radiating soundwaves and then sharing it publicly is it's own radiating soundwave. 💕💕💕 beautiful!