We blinked and it was winter.
A recent bout of acute illness has left me verbally stranded with even more brain fog than usual. There’s so much I want to tell you, but I can’t make any of it make sense. I feel powerless, frustrated, and disoriented. And I trust that this cloud, like all clouds, will pass.
For now, here’s a secret poem from earlier this year.
Corpse Pose In what corner of this vast country did her accent originate— the long a lazing itself into the shortest e? She passes reverently among the rows of bodies. In hell. We all breathe in. Ex hell. We let it go.
The teacher in this poem is a real person, and the class was a real class—just one that I attended on YouTube, in my living room. I haven’t been to a yoga studio since February of 2020.
It is hard, sometimes, (often, constantly), to exist in isolation. While I don’t miss yoga studios, I do miss synchronizing my breath and joining my voice with others’. I miss the lightening of grief that comes with mourning together.
other things i wrote
Some of you might remember Witch Tree, my holiday-decor-turned-role-model. I’ve republished her origin story over at The Last Word on Nothing. You can read it here.
Five words I never expected to type: I’m a beauty influencer now. Thanks to Elinor for featuring my functional but extremely uninspired skincare regimen in her brilliant newsletter.
tenderness toward existence days
CW: Food mentions in this section.
The theme for December’s tiny holidays is nondenominational winter silliness. No religion has a monopoly on lighted trees, or gingerbread, or Buddy the Elf. (I will die on this hill, but only after spending a happy afternoon sledding down it.)
National Christmas Tree Day (December 8)
Gingerbread Decorating Day (9)
National Maple Syrup Day (17)
[Snow]Flake Appreciation Day (18)
International Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day (18)
Look for an Evergreen Day (19)
Feast of the Seven Fishes (24)
all i want for christmas is you (alive & ok)
As you plan your holiday gatherings and travel, please implement some basic COVID precautions like masking, ventilation, and pre- and post-event testing. The virus is raging again, but we have extremely effective tools to protect ourselves and each other. Take it from someone whose life has been devastated by long COVID: You do not want this.
I know this isn’t fun to hear. It’s not fun to say. But I want us all to be safe.
Tips for gathering are here.
Tips for travel are here.
The People’s CDC newsletter is an easy way to keep up with what’s going on.
This link is a surprise for people who clicked on the other links. We’re on an honor system here.
gratitude and a kiss
This has been the last small magic for 2023. Thanks for being here with me through all the ups and downs.
As this harrowing year wanes, please be a sweetheart to yourself. I mean this literally: Hold your own hand quietly for a moment. Write your favorite things about yourself on a sticky note, or reply to this post and tell me. Give yourself a lil’ smooch on the shoulder. No one needs to know.
Stay warm and stay safe. I’ll see you in the future.
Lantern and fairy light photos from Unsplash; Witch Tree and snowflakes by me.
I feel lifted by the spirit of your work, Kate. Many thanks for your presence here. xx
I'm dealing with COVID brain fog this week. I hope yours and mine lift soon.
Likewise on yoga studios since 2020. I could see attending yoga again, but reading this it dawned on me that my choir singing days may be over for good.
Festivus for the rest of us. Shred that hill!
I commented on your cool tree over on LWON.